The Nosey Narrow Minded

"So," says a perfect stranger, "have you had an ultrasound yet?"
"What?" I'm trying to get my lunch together, and was not expecting conversation not related to passing the salt and pepper.
"Have you had an ultrasound yet?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Um..."(None of your business?)
"Too early?"
"Okay." (Can I make it any more clear that this is none of your business?)
"My daughter's pregnant too."
"That's....great." (That is none of my business.)

I told my husband about this conversation and he came out with this gem:
"Yeah, I just had the ultrasound yesterday and it turns out that the baby has 60 fingers and no head. I've been crying about it for the past 24 hours and finally managed to think about something else until you brought it up just now. Thanks for asking."

The same person accosted me later in the kitchen and asked me about whether I know about "belly bands" because her daughter has some. I told her I had, and that I had it "all under control." She finally got an inkling that I wasn't really appreciating these conversations, since she said "I'm going to ask alot of questions" to which I replied, "Well I might not answer, I feel this is my thing." To which she finally replied "Okay, I won't ask." Which implies I finally got through her thick head.

Or maybe I should have stared at her and said: Are you trying to tell me I'm fat??

I am treading on thin ice because I want to be known as the competent, professional, well-adjusted career woman, but instead my co-workers, especially the female ones, want to drag me down into the realm of un-reasonable, tempermental, rude pregnant woman. I don't think they do this intentionally, but they remember their experiences as the pregnant woman at work and they've read too many pregnancy guides and somehow they have bought into the idea that everything that a pregnant woman does is related to pregnancy. And that every pregnant woman wants to talk about ultrasounds and sore breasts at lunchtime and stretch marks and maternity clothes at break. That I don't find these topics of interest or something I want to discuss with people outside my immediate family is a source of frustration and mystery to them. My male colleagues do not have the same reference point, and so even though they are prone to making dumb comments they do not have the same intensity of feeling or the force of opinion or the need to say anything at all unless I bring it up. Is it any wonder, then, that I have few female friends?

I feel sorry for these women, I really do. It must be so sad to live in a world so narrow.