And the hits just keep on coming...

I'm not tired of being pregnant, per se. I'm tired of other people.

"When are you due?" is the new "Nice weather we're having." Only more nosey and less relevant. Especially when it's been asked by someone who has already asked you this question. Here's a hint, people, it hasn't changed from the last time you asked me.

Here's a good one: Put your finger directly on a pregnant woman's belly. She won't mind. After all, it's not like you're touching her... oh wait, you are. But she won't mind. Then ask this amazingly dumb question: "What's this?" And remember, she won't ever say something sarcastic like "that appears to be my stomach." And if she's rude and says something like "please don't touch me," don't take it personally. Those raging hormones make her say things like that.

If you are extremely obese, try making a pregnant woman feel good about her self-image. Say something like: gee, it looks like you're trying to imitate me! She'll find that amusing. See, she's grimacing right now.

And if you're a midwife or an obstetrician, here's a neat trick. Each time your patient comes for her now weekly visit, grab hold of the baby's nether regions through the mother's sensitive belly and give them a good shake. Everyone will enjoy that because then baby will wake up and move around indignantly. Well, mom will get a few kicks in the ribs. But she's used to that so it's okay. And that'll make her look forward to next week's visit even more!

What could be worse than nine months of stupid people? Oh, probably 18 years of stupid parenting advice. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.