All Classed Up

Following the advice of the prenatal coordinator, we signed up for the seven week childbirth education course. Naively, we thought perhaps it would teach us some techniques that would be useful for those few fateful hours during childbirth, as well as perhaps some exercises which might be useful in preparation.

So far, it's been a fairly obvious and at times either gruesome or pornographic anatomy lesson with faded handouts giving us tiresome advice about what we should/could feel like in the first, second, and third trimester, mixed in with some fairly stereotypical or even downright sexist remarks, spread liberally about the gender spectrum (From the firmly debunked "pregnancy brain" comment to my personal favorite: "All guys think alike." Yes, every woman in the class is accompanied by a male partner.)

In short I haven't learned anything I haven't already learned by reading a book, and the rest of the time I've either been grossed out or annoyed. Each class is two hours long, is held on Wednesday's at 6:30, and invariably goes over the time limit, with the result that I leave my house at seven in the morning and don't return until quarter to ten. Aren't pregnant women supposed to get lots of sleep and lots of exercise? Exactly when am I supposed to practice the hastily taught exercises squeezed in at the end of the class? What good was this class supposed to be again?

They say that in the third trimester you begin to get bored with being pregnant, can't wait to get it over with, and that the last month or so before the happy date can seem eternally long. I was already bored with being pregnant 7 months ago, and have been biding my time ever since, but this class is definitely making me want to get the rest of this over with. I'm not sure I can bear another 5 weeks of dreamy-eyed, un-informed nonsense.

I keep going because I keep hoping they'll tell us something useful. You never know, something might slip out.