Out In the World

Parenting is, on the one hand, a matter of subjective opinion, and everyone should have the right to raise their children as they see fit. On the other hand, being a parent is like being under a giant diplomatic microscope; a UN of patriotic, vitriolic, sympathetic procreators whose country of child is necessarily the center of the universe. Enter; the beach.

Sydney, myself, my husband, and his sister and her husband, all met up at the ocean front a few weekends ago. Although the beach in question has miles of relatively uninhabited areas in which to camp for the day, we uncharacteristically chose the most busy spot; next to the pier, the playground and the sandy beach. Sydney was ready to play, you see.

All around us were people and children of varying stages of life and varying stages of beach dress; from the almost-nothing string bikini to the full veil of the modest Muslim. They were also from all different walks and views of life, as evidenced in the many encounters we had.

It's these encounters with perfect strangers, whose children interact with mine, which is the sticky point where diplomacy might break down. Sydney met up with a girl named Katherine, a cute princess of a three year old who seemed friendly enough until Sydney picked up some seaweed.

"Eww!" Katherine said, "I don't want it!!" Katherine's parents had obviously taught Katherine the dangers of the wild outdoors. Sydney, on the other hand, has never seen a slimy green thing she didn't like.

Ignoring the outburst, Sydney gave it to me. "Whatz dis?" she asked.

"Seaweed," I said.

While Katherine was still inching back closer to her new friend, Sydney asked, curiously, "Can I eat it?"

Seriously. What could make a mother prouder?

Later, as I was enjoying a nice dive in the cold Atlantic, I noticed a recently dead but mostly intact crab floating in the waves. I showed it to my sister in law, and then noticed that Sydney was still engaged with Katherine. "I'm going to go freak Katherine out," I said, and hurried to shore to cause diplomatic havoc.

Later, I felt a little bad. Was I dooming my daughter to a life without friends? But on the other hand, she has plenty of friends. She immediately named her new crab friend "Jeebo." Who needs a Katherine when you have a crab?

Y?

Sydney, you can't eat dirt. Don't eat dirt.

Why?

Because it isn't good for you.

Why?

Because it isn't food.

Why?

Because dirt isn't food.

Why?

Because it isn't.

Why?

Just because.

Why?

I don't know.

.....

Why?